I was asked the question some days ago and as simple as it looks it was a tough battle trying to get an answer. I thought to myself “why not? Was it out of place to still be single knowing fully well that must of the people around me were in relationships?” Well I guess here is a good explanation of what I mean:

I sat on the stool in the kitchen and watched my very good friend of 12 years prepare this lovely meal. It was jollof spaghetti with corned beef and sausage. It smelled really good, looked and definitely tasted delicious. She was really excited, “I am going to prove to him that Shoprite does not have the best spaghetti”, she said as she dashed from one end of the kitchen to another. You can guess who she was cooking for, her fiancé. He was coming to their family house and she wanted to bless his stomach with her lovely delicacy. As I sat there and smiled to most of the things she said, different thoughts ran through my mind;

First, it dawned on me that life is in phases, I mean this was an impossibility some six years ago, having a boyfriend was more like an abomination let alone having him come to your father’s house. But now things were different, it’s almost the norm to be in a relationship, it pretty much feels odd not to be in one.

Second, was that I realized an internal pressure had gradually and unknowingly being mounting up within. This, together with the desire to have someone you can call and tell how your day went, share how you are feeling with, laugh with or shoulders to cry on were gradually running me crazy. The other day while walking with a female friend of mine, I had to continually remind myself that I was not walking alone because from the commencement of the walk, she was on the phone with her ‘boo’, on another occasion I entered my classmate’s room and stumbled on her and her boyfriend cuddling on the bed, recently I was supposedly talking to my friend not knowing that the ear piece in her ears was not there for fun but she was actually receiving a phone call from her fiancé. These are just to mention but a few incidences that have almost tipped me over to feeling like I desperately needed a boyfriend.

This is definitely not to condemn them neither am I in any way jealous, I t’s just that with time, being surrounded by this just puts you in a tight situation. I have come to understand that it is totally normal to feel this way but the big question is what do you do in such situations? Do you become desperate and settle for less than God’s perfect will for you, for any Tom, Dick and Harry? Definitely not!!!

The truth still remains that that Mighty One up there who with His wisdom created the whole universe and fashioned you specially has placed a perfect timing for every season of your life (Ecc 3:1) and the timing for every individual is specific to him/her. So it will be terrible if you gauge your progress by another person’s. It’s similar to fruits on a tree, they don’t all get ripe at the same time but if because one is ripe, you pluck the others and begin to eat them, your tongue will suffer. If however, each fruit is allowed to ripen before it is plucked, then you’ll maximally appreciate the lovely taste God created it to have.

Have you ever imagined the catastrophe that would have ensued if Adam woke up from ‘his surgery’ before the set time and saw an Eve that was not fully formed? The horrible sight would have made him run for his dear life and the excruciating pain from the incision would have been unbearable. So if you happen to be experiencing this ‘internal pressure’, take a chill pill, allow your fruit to get ripe before you pluck it, allow your Eve to be completely made and your Adam to be whole. You are too precious to God to be forgotten. Cheers!!!

(2015)

Emmanuela Mike-Bamiloye