Situationship

👉 Definition

A Situation is simply an undefined relationship. It is a relationship that if asked by someone “what are you two?” you won’t be able to give a specific answer.

You spend time together, talk together, have feelings for each other yet neither of you or one of you doesn’t know where you are heading. It lacks direction and purpose

The individuals involved know deep down that they aren’t just friends but they can’t also say they are in a relationship headed somewhere

👉What leads to it, what makes people fall into this situation?

Situationships happen a lot, many people including myself have been victims, so let’s look at some of the reasons it happens…

1. When you are led by your emotions not by God.

Our emotions cannot be trusted. The fact that you like someone or that you have an attraction for a person doesn’t mean you must end up together.

We must learn to put our emotions under control and not allow it control us

Emotions can make a person do what they never imagined they can do.

Ask God to always help you put your emotions in check at all times.

2. The desire to have someone at all cost which can also be as a result of pressure.

It is unfortunate that there is so much pressure from so many areas; family, social media, friends and so on

Don’t allow pressure push you into the wrong relationship. Let God lead you

The devil keep bombarding us with lies that time is going and blah blah blah. Tell Him God’s time is always the best and God has the best in store

3. Lack of understanding of your worth. It makes you settle.

Some people especially ladies allow themselves to easily be swept off their feet by just anyone.

A man comes and bamboozles them with sweet words and next thing, they are crawling after him. No no no, this shouldn’t be.

If he doesn’t state clearly what he wants. If he doesn’t meet the godly standards you have set, don’t settle. When you know your worth, you won’t fall for just anyone. You’ll be valued by whoever finds you.

Always remember God has the best stored up for you. Jeremiah 29:11 helps us know that God thinks of us and has a beautiful future ahead

4. Lack of faith in God to give you the best

Some people are to eager, they run ahead of God. They can’t trust Him but instead trust what they see and what their emotions tell them. When you have faith in God, it will strengthen you to wait.

5. Impatience

👉 Dangers of being involved in a Situationship?

1. Heart breaks

Chai! It can be so so painful. It’s not something anyone should experience.

There was a story of a brother who told the lady he was in a Situationship with that he was getting married, the lady was shattered. It’s best avoided

2. Waste of time
3. Waste of emotions
4. Waste of resources

It is a waste of so much. It’s not worth it.

5. The right person can pass by but you won’t realise because you’ve been involved with the wrong person.
6. Shame and dissapointment

Can you imagine the shame the sister who experienced the heart break felt?

👉Way out.

What then is the way forward, what is the way out?

1. Realise you are on the wrong path.

Until you realise and admit you are in an undefined relationship, you will remain stuck in it.

2. Speak up, ask specifically about what is going on.

Don’t be afraid to ask “please what are we?” “What is the future of this relationship?”

It is better you ask and are told that “we are just friends” than for you to assume that there is more when there is no more anywhere.

3. Don’t be afraid, if you need to end it, then end it.

👉 Ultimate solution

1. Understand your completeness is in Jesus.

There is a void in every heart. An emptiness. God’s original intention is for that void to be filled by Him and Him alone but many people use other things and other people to fill it up because only God can fill it up, they get frustrated when they still fill empty.

You hear some married people saying they are still lonely, empty. They don’t feel satisfied. This is because they are banking on man to fill up the void.

Only Jesus has the ability to fill us up.

The Bible says in Col 2:10 that “you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.”

Don’t have the mindset that when you get someone, you will finally be complete. You aren’t to complete your spouse but to complement him/her. You are an asset not a liability.

With this understanding, you cannot be tossed around by a man who doesn’t love or value you. You should understand your worth and value and not settle just for anybody.

You cannot be complete in Him without first being his child ie being born again.  The only way to God, the only way to be complete, the only way to have eternal life is through Jesus and He loves you so much and wants to be your groom.

If you haven’t given your life to Jesus, please don’t let this moment pass you by. Surrender all to Him and ask Him to be your Lord and saviour.

2. Trust God for your spouse in His time.
3. Wait on Him and don’t run ahead of Him. God’s timing is different from man’s. Don’t set a deadline for God.

Psalm 27:14 – “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

4. Don’t try to work things out, let Him do the work.

Sometimes we try to make some relationships work when it is not God’s will.

5. Delight in the Lord. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
6. Get busy with His work. Matt 6:33. Let your focus be on God. Get busy for you and He’ll get busy for you.

I’m conclusion, I’ll like to just share my experience of a Situationship I found myself

There was a guy I met back in school. Although he was a Christian, God never gave me a go ahead. We got talking and before we knew it, we’d talk every blessed day till our credit both ran out.

Emotions grew and it became hard to do without talking to him.

After months of this, he suddenly stopped calling. I was worried, I didn’t understand why he stopped so I asked him. He didn’t give any tangible reason because I already had my emotions involved, it was very hard and painful to have been cut off suddenly

After months of being in that state, I stumbled on his picture with another lady. It was a rude shock but I immediately received strength to move on, having come to the realisation that there was no way there.

If I had known the dangers of being in a Situationship, I won’t have allowed that happen to me. But today, I am thankful God helped me out and I learnt greatly from it.

So please learn from the mistakes of others😁

God bless