I have had experiences in recent times that have left me wondering what exactly is happening to this generation. Little wonder Jesus asked the rhetorical question ‘Nevertheless when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on earth?’ (Luke 18:8). The most recent experience left me dumbfounded. I know I have heard of single ladies dating married men and all but I was in shock when I actually heard what this guy had to say. So here is what happened…

About two weeks ago, I met this guy. He appeared really nice, looked like the typical cool, calm and collected fellow, he was a friendly young doctor. We were both members of different committees in a medical conference our institution hosted. We got talking and along the line he asked me to be his date in the dinner organized for the conference. Since I was going to be there with my friends, I didn’t think it would be a big deal to have him join us.

 During the dinner, he brought out his phone to show me something and I saw a picture of him and a pretty lady as his wallpaper. At that point, I began to suspect something fishy. Later, I got to see other pictures which included pictures of two cute boys- his sons. He was married with two beautiful boys. I couldn’t hold it anymore and so had to ask him why he didn’t wear his ring and acted like he wasn’t married. He said he just didn’t like wearing it. He went on to say things like if he had a gun he’ll shoot guys for seeing a beautiful girl like me and not chasing after me and if he was single he was going to chase me. He also said he wasn’t going to break my heart because he was married and married men know how to take care of ladies.

I was short of words, didn’t know how to respond, I couldn’t fathom why despite the beautiful family he had, he was flirting. We went on to ask me out on a date and at that point I spoke up and asked him why he would ask me on a date when he was married. His reply left me speechless. He said, “in marriage, it is not only about my wife my wife or my husband my husband but occasionally you bring in a third party to spice up the marriage and make you feel alive”. If I didn’t know anything about marriage, I would have thought he was absolutely right. After all, they say in marriage, things can get boring and mechanical however the spicing things up is definitely not by bringing a third party in, but by the re-ignition of  the spark between the husband and wife. That’s why the Bible says the man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh (Gen 2: 24) it didn’t say ‘…and gets close to her’. To cleave means there is absolutely no room for a third party.

Some may argue that he never asked for sex or anything harmful so I didn’t have to turn down his offer. Of all the instruction God gave us, He didn’t say we should resist the spirit of sexual immorality but that we flee (1 Cor 6:18). One thing the devil is not, is foolish. He is cunning and subtle in his ways. Most times, he coats sin with an appealing covering and that’s why the Bible says we should abstain from every appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:22). Once it appears to be wrong, run! Don’t wait and say ‘let me see where this thing is heading’. If it looks bad, it probably is.

Take a moment to ask yourself ‘suppose I’m his wife laboring over him and his two kids, how would I feel?’. No matter what appears to be in vogue, this is not it! It just isn’t right to date a married man! As long as we cannot exercise godly discipline, there’s bound to be boomerang on both parties, it also attracts God’s judgment.

I know this article seemed more to have addressed ladies but hey guys, here is what Proverbs 5: 18-23 MSG ‘Bless your fresh flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose- don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? For dalliance with a promiscuous stranger?…Death is the reward of an undisciplined life; your foolish decisions trap you in a dead end’.

Honour God in your relationship and marriage. God bless!!!

Emmanuela Mike-Bamiloye

2016